I'm a mother of multiples, and any time I mention that I have twins the question (rather rudely) is posed, "Are they natural?" or "Were you on fertility drugs?"
I would never be so bold as to ask someone such a personal and invasive question about their private life, but manners aren't what they used to be. I notice that the inquisitor is often surprised when I respond that I've never taken a fertility pill and am one of those lucky people that was able to get pregnant without difficulty. I know plenty of women who had to rely on fertility drugs and/or IVF to complete their families and I think it's a miracle and I'm grateful for the children who are here as a result.
I'm pretty torqued about this idiot in California though. A SINGLE mother of SIX kids, Nadya Suleman, decides to pursue further infertility treatments and conceives EIGHT more children. I would be the last person to stand up for government deciding how many children we should be allowed to have, but someone should have said NO to this selfish, attention seeking loon. Her own mother has thrown her daughter under the bus and is quoted as saying when her daughter is released from the hospital, "I will be gone."
This story begs some answers:
- Who paid for all of her IVF procedures and subsequent gynecological care?
- How could she put her parents in financial peril to the point where they have lost their own home and been forced to declare bankruptcy?
- Who is going to adequately care for these fourteen children, physically, financially and emotionally?
Yesterday, it was reported that Nadya had hired an agent and her parents are suddenly doing an about face on their previous positions. Ms. Suleman's mother claimed her daughter funded her invitro with a financial settlement from an accident...ooookay, but I'm quite sure that there wasn't enough to cover her prenatal care, nor the time in neonatal ICU for 8 infants. It seems clear that the family intends to utilize media attention to support their 17 member clan. Note to Oprah...please don't indulge this fool. This isn't cute or a novelty, it's a tragedy. This woman should not be celebrated, her choices should be scrutinized and criticized and her situation held up as a cautionary tale for both higher order pregnancies and the limitations of a single parent.
I was a single parent for several years before meeting my second husband. Life as a single mother of three was no picnic, and based on my own experiences and knowledge, I can actually will myself into a meltdown at the thought of eight infants on top of six other children. Let's assume both grandparents are going to be with her around the clock to assist, even though her mother is on record as saying she's had enough and her father is planning to return to Iraq for work as a translator. The man would rather return to a war zone than stick around for the late night feedings and thousands of diaper changes that await him in the 1,500 square foot bungalow in suburban LA. Even with three adults, that still leaves the kids outnumbering the parental units almost five to one.
To be clear, I am not criticizing anyone's choice to have a large family. This is about the wisdom behind a single, unemployed woman's selfish indulgence and the irresponsibility of the fertility doctors who facilitated a high risk pregnancy and birth. The two million dollar asking price for interview time with this woman doesn't seem adequate when divided by 15 (or 17) and taking into consideration a California cost of living and certain health complications. The question I really have to ask as I learn more about this woman is, "what ever happened to common sense?"
